I AM OFTEN ASKED: DO YOU KEEP YOUR SHADES WHEN SLEEPING OR UNDER THE SHOWER? A PHOTOGRAPHER SNEAKS IN MY CHELSEA HOTEL BATHROOM AND REVEAL THE TRUTH ABOUT THE ONE AND ONLY BRINGER OF JOY AT LAST.

ACE HOTEL SHOWER IS SO STRONG...

...THIS COOL PLACE SHOULD BE CALLED NIAGARA FALLS HOTEL. WATER POUNDS STRAIGHT, BOILING AND HEAVY ALL OVER MY BODY LIKE AN OVERWHELMING, STRONG CARESS. I ADMIT SOAP AND HOT WATER BRING NASTY IDEAS THROUGH AN INVISIBLE WIRE CONNECTING MY BRAIN TO MY MALEHOOD. IS THAT FOAM ONLY SOAP?? BUBBLE BUTTS ARE MOSTLY WELCOME. IT FEELS HOT AND SEXY. I AM MELTING, FEELING IN LOVE WITH EVERYTHING, I'M THE TYPICAL BRAINLESS STUD. I CAN'T HELP IT... WARMTH EASES THE FLOW OF FANTASIZING. I SUPPOSE YOU HARDLY CANT READ THAT TEXT, MESMERIZED BY THE WILDLIFE SNAPSHOTS... ALLOWS ME TO WRITE ANY KIND OF BULLSHIT SAFELY... A MILLION MERMAIDS RUN BY MY BALLS AND COCK... I WISH I COULD CATCH EVERYONE OF THOSE GLITTERING FISH AND FUCK THEM IN... IN WHAT!? REMINDS ME OF A SPANISH JOKE: TWO FISHERMEN IN A BOAT CATCH A MERMAID IN THEIR NET. "¿POR DONDE?" (WHERE IS THE FUCKHOLE?) SAYS ONE BEFORE THROWING THE CREATURE BACK TO THE OCEAN. I GUESS AFTER SUCH DISAPPOINTMENT, OUR SPANISH FISHERMEN FOUND "¿POR DONDE?" ON EACH OTHER. I MANIPULATE THOSE TWO SHORT, HAIRY, DARK SKINED PUPPETS OF MY IMAGINATION SO THE MOUSTACHED ONE FUCKS THE BEARDED ONE, AND THE OTHER WAY AROUND, FAR AWAY FROM SHORE AND WIVES. I AM SURE THOSE AFICIONADOS WOULD BE GRANDLY INTERESTED BY MY BIG LOBSTER - NO DOUBT THEY WOULD ALSO KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT. ONDINISM IS SUPPOSEDLY A SEXUAL DEVIANCE. AH AH. AM I AN ONDINE? AND YOU? I GUESS EVERYONE IS A BIT OF AN ONDINE, APART FROM AQUAPHOBES. DO YOU WHISTLE WHILE SHOWERING TOO? COME ON IN AND LETS SING ALONG... ...DEEPTHROAT THAT MASSIVE COCK BEFORE I FUCK YOUR ASS WITH SOAP, SEA WHORE. WHY NOT CHECK YOUR SHOWER CABIN? IF I'M NOT IN, CALL ME THROUGH YOUR IMAGINATION, DELIVER A GOOD LOAD UNDER THE HOT WATER... SIMPLE, HYGIENIC, HEALTHY!